I had the following conversation with Kit (very) early one morning. In my defense, I am one of those people whose intellectual faculties tend to sleep in. They generally don’t wake up until about half an hour after I do.
“Mum, have I been vacationed?” Kit enquired.
“Well, we say, ‘been on vacation,’ but yes, you have, a couple of times,” I replied, “Don’t you remember?”
“Not really. Did it hurt?” he asked.
Confused, I answered like a fool, “I don’t recall you hurting yourself, no.”
“And am I protected, now?” he continued.
“What? You mean like travel insurance?” I asked feebly.
“No, I mean, can I still get sick?” he answered.
“Well, lots of people get sick on vacation,” I replied, bemused.
“So, people go on vacation, and they still get sick?” He sounded exasperated.
“Yes. You’re actually more likely to get sick on vacation especially if you visit a foreign country. ”
“That’s not what it says on the internet. It says most people don’t get sick on vacation. I mean what would be the point of going on vacation otherwise? And why would you need to go to a foreign country? Aren’t Australian vacations just as good?”
“Well, admittedly, getting sick on vacation is a bit disappointing, but you can’t just not go on vacation in case you get sick,” I objected.
Kit interjected, “But that’s the whole point of vacations!”
“Although, if you stay in Australia to go on vacation, you are less likely to get sick,” I continued.
Finally, the penny dropped as my intellectual faculties kicked in, “Wait a minute…we’re not talking about holidays, are we?”
“What? No. I’m talking about vacations.”
“And when you read about these ‘vacations’ on the internet, did they look like this?” I scribbled on my shopping list, and showed him the printed word, “Or might there have been a few extra letters, unaccounted for?”
“Yes, a few,” Kit wrote out ‘vaccination,’ and pointed, “I think, when I say it, a couple of the letters are less enthusiastic as the others, and sort of wander off on the way out.”
“Ok, that’s vak-sin-aye-shun,” I explained, “Forget everything I just said.”
“I can’t just forget on demand” he objected, “At least not without a lot of vodka,” he added hopefully. (I ignored that comment.)
“Well, then. Just remember it’s all wrong. I thought you were talking about holidays.”
“So have I been on vaccination?”
“We actually only say, ‘on vacation.’ Where vaccination is concerned, we just say, ‘You have been vaccinated,” I said, avoiding the question.
“Oh. I thought going on vaccination was just a weird way we say it in Australia,” Kit explained.
“Actually, the weird way we say it here is, ‘going on holiday,’” I explained.
“So, I should be vaccinated before I go on vacation, but only if I go to a foreign country?”
“Yes. Something like that.”
“So have I been vaccinated?”
Kit has not been vaccinated against anything except cat flu, since he spends little time around his own kind, from whom he could catch diseases (and, also, I am a bad mother). As a result, he is a healthy as an ox (a very small, taxidermied one). Lucky Kit!
“Yes, you have,” I answered, which is technically true. Fortunately, he didn’t ask for the details.