At the crack of dawn on Tuesday, Kit woke me up squeaking with excitement, singing, “Happy birthday to me! Hehehe! Whadidyaget me?!” It was his fourth birthday. So we had a special breakfast (by ‘special’ I mean two hours earlier than usual), and he unwrapped his presents. Then things got interesting.
Kit asked, “So what are birthdays, anyway? Why does everyone have a different one?”
I explained that it’s the day you were born, and different people and animals were born on different days.
Then he wanted to know, if he was born on a Wednesday, why he can’t have a birthday with presents every Wednesday instead of only one a year. (I pacified him by reminding him that we have dessert once a week, and that is like a special celebration.)
Then he asked if plants have birthdays too, and I said I didn’t think so because they weren’t exactly born like animals.
“What’s ‘born’ mean, anyway?” he asked.
“It’s when you came to be on earth,” I said vaguely.
“But where was I before? Was I like an alien?” He sounded excited.
“Um, no. But you didn’t quite exist.” His face fell.
“But where did I come from?”
“Weeeelllll…you started off planted like a seed in your mummy’s tummy”.
“But that would make me a plant, and I am not a plant! I am an animal”. He was a bit indignant.
“Well, it’s more like an egg than a seed, I suppose,” I clarified.
“But that would make me a chicken! And I am a meerkat! Meerkats don’t lay eggs. We eat eggs!”
“Well, they don’t lay eggs, no. The egg stays inside your mummy until it grows into you.”
“But how did I get in there? Did she eat eggs, and then one turned into me?” he was genuinely baffled, “And if I grew in there, then how did I get out? Did she barf me out?”
“Kit,” I said gently, “You’d better sit down.”
So I explained, as he sat wide-eyed and fascinated.
When I finished, he was quiet for a bit.
Finally he spoke.
“Bloody hell!” he said.