This morning Kit went out to the balcony to test the weather. He came flying straight back in again. Literally.
“I am not in Chicago, and I am not in Windy Wellington,” he huffed, getting back to his feet, “And Mother Nature would do well to remember that!”
This last week, the weather has been a bit blustery, and it has been getting on his nerves no end. So, to make the best of it, we made a kite, and walked to the park to fly it.
Kit noticed the speed sign in the image below. It seemed to require a speed limit of 0km per hour. We agreed that it seemed a bit unreasonable, being as it was, on a path.
“And the whole point of paths and roads,” said Kit, “Is for you to move along them. Obviously, I am excluding the Kwinana Freeway between three and six pm. During rush hour, its purposes seem to be to get you sunburned on your right arm, and make you wish you’d gone to the loo before you left work.”
“Even Spike Milligan [my cactus] can go faster than that,” Kit exclaimed.
“Since Spike Milligan is on the balcony, firmly planted in a pot that is not going anywhere, I strongly suspect that 0km per hour is his top speed,” I countered.
“But actually, you do move him sometimes to be closer to the sun,” Kit argued, “So even if it averages out to a really slow speed, it’s still not completely stationary.” He looked smug.
“Well bugger me! I do believe you’re right for once,” I conceded.
“Once?!” he squeaked, “That’s at least the second time since breakfast.”
“Sure,” I muttered under my breath, “If you mean breakfast on the third Tuesday of last January.”
Fortunately, he didn’t hear.
As we were getting ready to go (rather reluctantly on Kit’s part) he suddenly piped up, “Actually, you can’t take me home. We might get arrested!”
“What have you done now?” I asked with trepidation.
“Nothing, but the speed limit is 0km per hour. So, if we leave, we’ll be breaking the speed limit, which is breaking the law,” he said hopefully.
“You don’t actually get arrested for speeding,” I explained.
“Oh,” he looked crestfallen.
“You just get a fine. And here is a list of things I am more worried about than getting that fine: Coming in at Number Three: Plastic pollution. Two: Climate change. And Number One: Telling a certain meerkat that we really must go home now!
Kit fully justified worry Number One as I dragged him home biting and squeaking.